Thursday, May 28, 2020

When Life Gives You a Bad talk about it.

I was reluctant to write about this but after over thinking it, I decided that writing about it is good for my Soul.  So here goes.  After three lung biopsies I have been diagnosed with a low grade Neuroendocrine Carcinoid Tumor (NET) that decided to form in my lung.  It's a low grade tumor that hasn't spread outside of the lung.  As my Pulmonary Doctor says, "it's a good cancer, if there is such a thing!" I am very thankful that it is not Lung Cancer.  Please know that I'm not telling you this for sympathy, My voice is in my writing so I'm telling you this because I need to get it out there and say the words out loud.

  The surgeon will remove the lung lobe containing the tumor by performing a "lobectomy." or a "wedge resection."  The good part is that no chemo or radiation or any other type of therapy will be necessary for now. 

This all started back in February.  I thought I had the flu but it seemed worse than the flu, maybe it was Covid...I just don't know.  But I was so sick that I went to my Doctor because I was having breathing problems.  She ordered an xray and it showed the mass on my Lung.  From that point on it was a whirlwind of trips to the Pulmonary Doctor, CT Scans, Pet Scans and three biopsies and a Surgeon!  My Medical Team has been amazing.

This type of Carcinoid Tumor is so rare that they have formed their own Group called...

Stressful?  Yes.  But I'm remaining Strong. I know this surgery is going to be tough and the recovery time will be long but I'm preparing myself mentally through prayer, faith and long talks with my family and friends.  My Sister, Kim has been my Rock and Mr. Sissie has been my support and barer of my sometimes outburst of less than nice demeanor.  Whenever I get off track and my imagination goes wild with worry,  my Son, Jeff  is the voice of sensibility. My Doctor, who did all the right tests and even prayed with me. Plus the other great team of medical professionals who took care of me in the middle of this Pandemic. So with all this support, I know I'll  get through this. I feel blessed that what I have is curable at this point and found early.  This is a gift that wasn't to be for my Brother Kenny and other beloved family members, so I am ever mindful and grateful that I've been given a chance.

Now that I've said all of this I actually feel much better mentally.  I can and will do this.  I have all I need and everyone I love are pulling for me.  What more can a girl ask for!
Here's to all you strong Women Warriors out there battling with illnesses and pain.  May you stay strong, ask for support and share your stories so others know they are not in this alone.

Big hugs and love from me to you.

Friday, January 24, 2020

I know.  I know.  It's been a very, very long time since I've been on my blog.  My last post was about losing my Brother and to tell the truth my heart hasn't been right since.  I have missed you.  I'm sure that many of you have long forgotten about me so I'll just pick up and start again. I realize too that the "big time bloggers" have pretty much taken over and those of us "old schoolers" have questioned whether or not blogging is really worth it all.  Now it's all about Instagram and FB. Many have dropped out of the game for one reason or another, but I've decided to give it one more attempt.

I started my blog in August, 2009.  Yep, I was much younger then and that picture in the right hand corner is no longer relative!

Almost 10 years later, I'm older and clearly have a lot of history behind my ever spreading backside.  So I've decided to give you an update and spill a few things about myself (both good and bad) so as we might get re-acquainted.  

I'm a Mom to an adult son with Crohn's disease.  He's what gets me up in the mornings and motivates me to be centered on someone in need instead of myself. It's a daily battle for us but my son is a true warrior and I'm willing to stand along side of him.  I'm also a Mom to two very smart kitty cats that are like children to me.

I'm married to an ex UPS manager whose been retired for 20 years! And yes it's true...."retirement is too much husband and a lot less paycheck!"  But, he still has those cute UPS legs.

I have lost 20 pounds and gained back 30 more times than I care to admit.

I've stopped coloring my hair because it's turning white on its own now.  I buy a lot of concealer and find myself using more every day.

I still bite my nails and own stock in the fake nail companies!

I once lived in a Chateau in Belgium.
I once wore tops that exposed my middle. And go go boots and hot pants!

I started writing a book but after 40 years it's still not done.

I get a little jealous of the young bloggers with perfect hair and skin, perfect children and perfect homes.  

I love shopping and I'm guilty of going to Home Goods, Hobby Lobby and TJMaxx at least once a week!  Oh and then there are the thrift stores and antique shops.

I still have a shop space that is my greatest passion.

I once swallowed a diamond ring....we will leave it at that! LOL.

The only celebrities I ever met were Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Debbie Reynolds and Soupy Sales!

So, there you have interesting exciting life.  I've sure missed all of you and I hope you haven't forgotten me.


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Letting Your Love One's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

I have spent nearly the entire month of May in tears and unspeakable sorrow.  On May 26 at 5:30 a.m. my brothers, sisters and my brother's wife and children held hands, cried and prayed over my brother Kenny as he quietly and peacefully left this earth and joined our loving God in Heaven.

Just eighteen days before his passing, Kenny wasn't feeling well.  His back hurt and he had indigestion.  He thought he was having a heart attack and drove himself to the hospital.  
It wasn't a heart attack, it was an aggressive and rare form of cancer called,  Cholangiocarcinoma, which is bile duct cancer.
His medical team gave us little hope but the family decided on chemotherapy to give him a few more months.  Sadly that did not happen.  His liver stopped functioning and he developed sepsis.  There was nothing they could do. In just a few weeks he was gone.

 Hospice was called, we made him comfortable as possible and waited for God to come.  During this time our emotions were out of control, our hearts were heavy as we held on to a glimmer of hope that he might pull through.  He was only 63 with a  birthday in July.  It was way to early for him to leave us.

We are a family of six.  Three brothers and three sisters.  Kenny was my baby brother.  He was always the laughter in the room, the adventurous one, the hard worker, the best hugger and the one brother that held all of us together.  He loved his family, he loved West Virginia where he was born.  He loved his friends and never lost touch with them.  He loved Harley Motorcycles which he built and collected.  He loved sports and loved antiques. He's the brother that I spoke about on my blog when my sister Kim and I spent the weekend with him antiquing and shopping. His biggest passion was gardening and landscaping. But most of all he loved his wife, his two sons and his daughter. 
He was planning to retire next year from his job as a supervisor for Barnhill Construction and had plans to finish the landscaping the gardens of their new home.  It never happened.

God had other plans for Kenny.  
I'm not sure that I will ever get over losing Kenny.  Life feels really sad right now and it's like a big chunk of my heart has been ripped from me.  My entire family is hurting so bad and every day is a challenge to stay strong and positive.  It's so hard returning to everyday life without Kenny with us.  I will always honor his life and his legacy.  He will forever be in my heart.

So, I'll leave you all with this.  Make that phone call, make that visit, hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you.  Don't put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow might not come.  Kenny only had eighteen days.  He waited for each one of his brothers and sisters to arrive.  He asked if we were all there.  When he heard our voices he seemed at peace.  But how do you tell someone how much you love them within a short amount of time...somehow you just do.  We each one kissed him and quietly whispered to him that he could go.  You'll never know how hard it is to tell someone you love that they are free to go.  The selfish side of us wants them to never leave, but you know they must.

I love you Kenny.  Thank you for the love you have given to us.  You will be forever in our hearts.


My favorite stuff

  • Donuts
  • Iced Vanilla Coffee
  • Finding Junk and making it beautiful
  • Spending Time with my Sister
  • Holidays with my family
  • Poirot movies
  • reading murder mysteries
  • searching shabby chic stuff on ebay
  • writing stories and blogging
  • snuggling with my husband and my kitty kats
  • comfortable pajamas
  • slot machines
  • yard sales
  • hunting through estate sales and thrift shops
  • going to antique shops
  • eating out with my sister
  • having lunch with my husband
  • having lunch with my son
  • vanilla wafer cookies
  • pedicures and pink toenail polish
  • Lavender scented soaps and body wash
  • Good makeup