Sunday, December 30, 2012

"You Can't Go Home Again...."

Thomas Wolfe wrote....."You can't go Home again." You can't go back home to your family.... You can't go back home to your old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time--back home to the escapes of Time and Memory." 

You can't go home again is ringing very true for me and my family. 

 For the past four months we have  struggled  to try and belong in a place that just doesn't feel like home.  Each one of us tried to keep our feelings to ourselves but you all know how Mama can just tell when her family is upset.  So I spoke up and said what needed to be said.
and that is....I've come to the conclusion that ain't nobody happy around here!"  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief  then poured out their hearts....

I really thought that moving back to the mountains of West Virginia meant returning home and I thought it was where I wanted to be. Turns out, it's not.

  We bought this house because we felt pressured to buy something right away.  We spent tons of money remodeling it and it still doesn't feel right.  It still doesn't feel like home.  I could remodel this house, decorate it fifty different ways and still not like how I feel when I walk through the door.  If you have ever lived in a house or a place that you just did not like or lived where you felt out of place....then you know what I'm talking about. 
We tried, we really did.

 We were greeted by old friends and acquaintances with cordial hellos and polite welcomes and nothing more. We returned to all those old familiar
places finding they are no longer the same.  We expected our old clubs and organizations to be what they once were but found they had  lost their familiarity and charm.   Did our expectations change, did we change?????  I don't know but I do know that being here no longer feels right.

The move back here was made mainly for me.  It was my wish to return "home" again to be near my sister.  She means the world to me and I really do love being just a few blocks away but despite our closeness and love for each other, I need to do what is right for my family.  My family reluctantly agreed to return because they wanted me to be happy and I thank them for that. My loving sister understands and only wants me to be happy.  She says it doesn't matter how many miles apart we are that we will always share a special bond and love one another.

The good part is that we can do something about it.  So, we have made the decision as a family to move back to the coast of North Carolina, to take a deep breath, relax and then decide where we need to be and where we will all feel at home. This house will go on the market the first of February.   We have made the decision to start all over again and I see it as an opportunity to begin yet another adventure in life.

So it's true...."You can never go home again."  But, it's also true that you still must travel the road not taken to arrive where you need to be.

It's going to be hard work but I'm trying to stay positive.
I'll plug away at it a little at a time.  We are selling as much furniture as possible and only moving the things that we love. 
God has been good to us, our faith is strong and we are ready to face the road ahead.  Somehow I feel that we are already home, it's just waiting for us to get there.

Thanks to each and everyone of you that have encouraged me throughout this journey.  You've listened to me gripe about the "money pitt" house and you've supported me every step of the way.
I hope that you'll continue to follow me on my quest  to home and happiness....back to Sissie's Shabby Cottage....somehow I know you will.

Happy New Year to all of you....may it be your best year yet!!!!



Marsha Williams said...

God will guide you just follow His lead. May 2013 be the greatest yet for you and your family. I wish you all well my friend.

Petite Michelle Louise said...

how very...VERY brave of you! wow..i wish i had half your courage and strength. good for you!!! i hope 2013 finds you........"home."

Melissa Bishop said...

I hope things work out for you on your next adventure and that your home sells at the right time.

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out, Sissie. I know you were excited to be living near your sister. If everyone is unhappy, it is best that you move back to where everyone was happy. I think people and things change over time. Best of luck with the sale.

NanaDiana said...

Oh, Sissie- The same thing happened to us. We moved and I never felt like I belonged there-the area or the home. It never felt like "mine". This has happened to me twice in our lives. I do love the house we are in but it is WAY too big of a house for us so we will probably sell this Spring, too. I hope we can find a smaller place along the water although not many of then exist. We'll see. I think you know where your heart belongs and you will never be truly happy until you answer its desire. God bless you- You are gonna do just fine!!!! xo Diana

Linda@Coastal Charm said...

Sorry to hear that your new home didn't feel right...wishing you all the best back in N.C.


White Weathered Hutch, said...

WOW!! Sissie home is where you make it.
A house is just a house.
Sorry to hear that after all you have been through that you are going to pack up again.
You know that maybe, just maybe you have not given it long enough.
Change is hard...even harder for young ones to adjust.
Have a Happy New Year!!
Blessings! Linda

Victoria said...

Soooo been there, done that! We moved to Florida at the end of 08, within a few months I was so homesick for So Cal. Two months later we moved back and I swore I'd never leave So Cal again. Fast forward to now...we moved back to Florida in May of this year and I'm loving it...have never felt so at home in my life! But, we're renting and I'm glad for that, just so we can take our time and figure out exactly where we want to settle.

One thing I will say is that, when we moved here last time, the town we were in didn't feel *right* to me, despite the fact it was where my dad lives. We're now in a different town and I feel at home here!

Best of luck to you Sissie and don't beat yourself up over it! You went with your gut, things didn't work out goes on right! HUGS!

Blondie's Journal said...

I think I am breathing a sigh of relief, too, Sissie, as I know you just weren't the same bubbly lady after your move. I know you will miss your sister but home is where your heart is and it was a big, brave step to admit that.

I wish you and your family all the luck and blessings in the world.


Patty Sumner said...

I know just how you feel Sissy... Sometimes you just have to go back in order to see that it not where you needed to be... At least now you know for sure... Home for you is in a different place now.. I pray your home sells quickly and your move back to our true "home" is painless... Blessings!

Jeannette said...

Hi Sissie! I TOTALLY get this. Problem is I moved to WV 12 years ago and still it doesn't feel like home. I know it never will no matter how hard I have tried. Home is Massachusetts but I can no longer afford to move back there but on the last visit it no longer felt like I belonged there either. So I guess I will continue to struggle with deciding where I will end up. Hubby can feel home anywhere he lands because he lives in the moment. He is still trying 32 years later to teach me that!lol

BEST WISHES where ever you land and good luck with the sale.

Sincerely, Jeannette

Theresa said...

A mamma always knows, doesn't she? Good for you to do what is best for everyone and how sweet for your family to move with you to be closer to your sister. You, my friend, are surrounded by a family who loves you very much, and no matter where you are as long as they are with you, that is home. Good luck in your move, i hope this house sells quickly and that you can regroup and settle in to your new place without too much trouble. have a blessed new year full of the love you so deserve! love, t.xoxo

Donna said...

Hi Sissie,
Thank you for being honest, not just with us, but with yourself and your family, too! I'm so sorry that where you are doesn't feel like home. What a let down that must be. But I know that following your heart will bring you the happiness and peace that you deserve. When hubby and I moved to Washington State almost 2 years ago, I thought it was the end of the world! I had never lived anywhere but Michigan. Now that he has retired and we are back in our home in MI, we both long for Washington! So funny, I never wanted to move there, now I wish we had never moved back home! Best of luck selling your home, keep us posted on your new adventures!!

Nancy said...

Dear Sissie,
I'm sorry the new home didn't work out; but I think the most positive part of this whole adventure is the support you've received from your family. Your family supported you when you wanted to move back "home". Now, your sister and family are supporting you in moving again. Although I'm sure this has been an emotional time for you, what pops out at me is how incredibly blessed you are with family. Not that many people can say they have family who are so supportive! God Bless you as you put this home on the market and make plans to move again.


Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Well, good luck with the sale and in finding the new home that feels right.

June said...

You know I am in your corner Sissie dear! I'll follow you wherever you go:)
I want to wish all good things in 2013!
sending hugs...

Cindy said...

Sissie! OMG! You're freakin awesome and amazing. Do you know how brave you are?! You are following your heart and the energy... and that is exactly what you should be doing. I am 100% sure that you are making the right decision and everything will be so much better now. Maybe alot of hard work, but i think you are on the right path... I am so proud of you...


Linda @ A La Carte said...

Sissie I knew you weren't happy. It showed in all you said about the house! Your JOY just wasn't there. I think you are so brave to make this decision. It is hard to go home again, you change, they change and it's hard to meet expectations. I know there is the perfect home for you out there! We will be with you on the journey.
Big Hugs, Linda

Shabby chic Sandy said...

I think it is true that any house can become a home--but I think it may be more about the area for you. Maybe you had high expectations that weren't fulfilled. I have been able to tell you weren't loving your house even though it looked gorgeous to all of us looking on :) I am so so happy for you that you can follow your dream and find the place you and your family were meant to be. Best wishes to you--and I will enjoy following along with you and how everything goes. Life is an adventure!

The Polka Dot Closet said...

Oh No...And you just finished that stupid Bathroom! I thought your relation with your sister would be the secret to happiness, but I understand there is more involved! Here's the deal, now you know, you would have forever wondered. How sweet of your family to put your happiness as such a priority! Of course we will love to follow this journey with you! I think the older we get the tougher it is to start over. Wish you could just click those heels and go home!

Happy New Years!

marian elizabeth said...

Oh! Gosh, I feel for you~I kinda felt you weren't yourself after the move~I hope you will get back to the place that makes you and your Family the happiest~Best of wishes for you!
marian elizabeth

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

I have no doubt everything will work out well in the end Sissie! Best of luck with your upcoming move! Happy New Year:@)

Diane said...

You bet we will Sissie! Happy New Year. XOXO Diane

Sandy~Romantique Inspirations~ said...

You can never go back to something that was once was..... that's why we need to treasure the moments we have now to the fullest because they will never be like they were before. I"m so sorry things didn't work out for you Sissie.... I hope your making the right choice where your life will pick up once again. Wow, just thinking about it makes me tired.... I know it's a lot of work. Keep strong!!

Big Hugs-

Ann@A Sentimental Life said...

So sorry things did not work out as you planned. Hoping in 2013 you and your family find your true HOME.
Blessing in the New Year.

Sharing Shadymont said...

Best wishes in your journey Sissie. Everything will work out fine. God bless you as you find the place you need to be.

Happy New Year!

Linda K. said...

Your journey resonates with mine, Sissie. I feel your heart. We're going to make a move back to my homeland, Wisconsin. Our family is there, our friends are there and the soil is so much better than the desert!! We'll be able to go fishing in any lake we choose. Follow your heart, I know this because God is always with us no matter what. Many blessing to you.


Lori said...

The heart alone knows! Best of luck, Lori

Mary E.Dadds said...

I have lived here all my life.I was born here.People moved in because this area became a Hotspot to live in.They moved in and I never felt like I belonged.They made me feel like the outsider.People moved here because they liked the Quiet and the Qanintness and they built and changed things to be just like where they left.
Truely do Hope you find your right place.You have made a lot of improvements to the place that you leave.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

It sounds like you have a good plan. I know it won't be easy but it will be worth it in the long run. You'll know when it's right! And I'm wishing you the very best in the year to come. Sweet hugs and Happy New year!

Sherry @ No Minimalist Here said...

Sissie, I understand how you feel. I am living with my dad in the town I grew up in. Nothing seems the same and I feel like a stranger here. You are following your heart and making the right decision. Best of luck to you and your family. xx, Sherry

Dorthe said...

Dear Sissie,
You took the right desition in talking out loud, and now moove back, to where,you felt good and at home, even missing your sister....but she will be there for you, and you for here, despite the miles.
I wish you all the best for 2013, and a happy return to HOME.
Hugs and love,Dorthe

Low Tide High Style said...

Life is short, and if you'd never made this move you would have always wondered if you should have! Good for you for realizing that you belong someplace else and for moving back there! Maybe one day your sister will join you in NC!

Happy New Year!


bathroom remodeling said...

This is my first time i visit here.
I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion.
From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here!
keep up the good work.

ruthcriger said...

I understand completely as we did the almost exact thing when we moved from Iowa back to Illinois where I am from. We went back to take care of my elderly aunt and stayed 5 years until she passed away. I thought it would be GREAT to be back home. We bought and remodeled a huge, beautiful Victorian house which was fun. But y'know what? We were lonely and it was not the 'going home' we thought it would be. Now we have 'downsized' into a lovely ranch house back in Iowa. The house is happy and filled with love and fun and I am happy every day that we came back. Follow your heart and you wont go wrong. I am so excited to 'follow' you on your journey. House hunting will be so fun and I can't wait to see your decorating/remodeling in your new place.
(P.S. with all the beautiful changes you have made your present house should sell qucikly and I hope for a profit!) Best Wishes!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I came back to read this post again. We came very close to retiring in Arkansas to be near my family but we're glad now we decided to move to Florida instead. The weather is so much nicer and things change in well as old home towns. This was a subject of conversation at breakfast this morning. I'm wishing you the very best! NC is a wonderful place to live. You'll have an exciting year!

Suzann said...

Oh Sissie,
You can't help what your heart loves...Sorry going "back home" didn't work out for you.
Will be excited to hear about your new adventures and decorating.
Wishing you the best
"Home is where your heart is"
Suzann ~xoxo~

Debbie@Debbie-Dabble and A Debbie-Dabble Christmas said...

I am catching up and just found my way to this post and I was stunned to read it.
BUT I do understand... I guess your case is a case of "Be careful what you wish for".
Thank goodness though that you had the wherewithall to realize that this was an unfortunate mistake and that you can correct it and now you can ponder where you all truly wish to be and where your hearts will be happy and sing...
I wish you luck in your new adventure and will say a prayer for you and your family that you all find what you are looking for!


Bunny said...

It has been so long since I have come for a visit. I had to scroll down to find out what has been happening in your life. I know you will sell and find comfort in a new venture that all family will feel happiness again. You will make another beautiful home. Oh and I just love your glitzy shoes.
Hugs Bunny

The Tablescaper said...

Hi Sissie:

It had been awhile since I visited so I needed to follow back through your posts to understand what was happening. Good luck. It's hard to make big decisions, but you certainly seem to have come to the right decision for your family.

Good luck on your journey.

I'll be following along!

- The Tablescaper

My favorite stuff

  • Donuts
  • Iced Vanilla Coffee
  • Finding Junk and making it beautiful
  • Spending Time with my Sister
  • Holidays with my family
  • Poirot movies
  • reading murder mysteries
  • searching shabby chic stuff on ebay
  • writing stories and blogging
  • snuggling with my husband and my kitty kats
  • comfortable pajamas
  • slot machines
  • yard sales
  • hunting through estate sales and thrift shops
  • going to antique shops
  • eating out with my sister
  • having lunch with my husband
  • having lunch with my son
  • vanilla wafer cookies
  • pedicures and pink toenail polish
  • Lavender scented soaps and body wash
  • Good makeup