Thomas Wolfe wrote....."You can't go Home again." You can't go back home to your family.... You can't go back home to your old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time--back home to the escapes of Time and Memory."
You can't go home again is ringing very true for me and my family.
For the past four months we have struggled to try and belong in a place that just doesn't feel like home. Each one of us tried to keep our feelings to ourselves but you all know how Mama can just tell when her family is upset. So I spoke up and said what needed to be said.
and that is....I've come to the conclusion that ain't nobody happy around here!" Everyone breathed a sigh of relief then poured out their hearts....
I really thought that moving back to the mountains of West Virginia meant returning home and I thought it was where I wanted to be. Turns out, it's not.
We bought this house because we felt pressured to buy something right away. We spent tons of money remodeling it and it still doesn't feel right. It still doesn't feel like home. I could remodel this house, decorate it fifty different ways and still not like how I feel when I walk through the door. If you have ever lived in a house or a place that you just did not like or lived where you felt out of place....then you know what I'm talking about.
We tried, we really did.
We were greeted by old friends and acquaintances with cordial hellos and polite welcomes and nothing more. We returned to all those old familiar
places finding they are no longer the same. We expected our old clubs and organizations to be what they once were but found they had lost their familiarity and charm. Did our expectations change, did we change????? I don't know but I do know that being here no longer feels right.
The move back here was made mainly for me. It was my wish to return "home" again to be near my sister. She means the world to me and I really do love being just a few blocks away but despite our closeness and love for each other, I need to do what is right for my family. My family reluctantly agreed to return because they wanted me to be happy and I thank them for that. My loving sister understands and only wants me to be happy. She says it doesn't matter how many miles apart we are that we will always share a special bond and love one another.
The good part is that we can do something about it. So, we have made the decision as a family to move back to the coast of North Carolina, to take a deep breath, relax and then decide where we need to be and where we will all feel at home. This house will go on the market the first of February. We have made the decision to start all over again and I see it as an opportunity to begin yet another adventure in life.
So it's true...."You can never go home again." But, it's also true that you still must travel the road not taken to arrive where you need to be.
It's going to be hard work but I'm trying to stay positive.
I'll plug away at it a little at a time. We are selling as much furniture as possible and only moving the things that we love.
God has been good to us, our faith is strong and we are ready to face the road ahead. Somehow I feel that we are already home, it's just waiting for us to get there.
Thanks to each and everyone of you that have encouraged me throughout this journey. You've listened to me gripe about the "money pitt" house and you've supported me every step of the way.
I hope that you'll continue to follow me on my quest to home and happiness....back to Sissie's Shabby Cottage....somehow I know you will.
Happy New Year to all of you....may it be your best year yet!!!!