Letting Your Love One Go....it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

I have spent nearly the entire month of May in tears and unspeakable sorrow.  On May 26 at 5:30 a.m. my brothers, sisters and my brother's wife and children held hands, cried and prayed over my brother Kenny as he quietly and peacefully left this earth and joined our loving God in Heaven.

Just eighteen days before his passing, Kenny wasn't feeling well.  His back hurt and he had indigestion.  He thought he was having a heart attack and drove himself to the hospital.  
It wasn't a heart attack, it was an aggressive and rare form of cancer called,  Cholangiocarcinoma, which is bile duct cancer.
His medical team gave us little hope but the family decided on chemotherapy to give him a few more months.  Sadly that did not happen.  His liver stopped functioning and he developed sepsis.  There was nothing they could do. In just a few weeks he was gone.

 Hospice was called, we made him comfortable as possible and waited for God to come.  During this time our emotions were out of control, our hearts were heavy as we held on to a glimmer of hope that he might pull through.  He was only 63 with a  birthday in July.  It was way to early for him to leave us.

We are a family of six.  Three brothers and three sisters.  Kenny was my baby brother.  He was always the laughter in the room, the adventurous one, the hard worker, the best hugger and the one brother that held all of us together.  He loved his family, he loved West Virginia where he was born.  He loved his friends and never lost touch with them.  He loved Harley Motorcycles which he built and collected.  He loved sports and loved antiques. He's the brother that I spoke about on my blog when my sister Kim and I spent the weekend with him antiquing and shopping. His biggest passion was gardening and landscaping. But most of all he loved his wife, his two sons and his daughter. 
He was planning to retire next year from his job as a supervisor for Barnhill Construction and had plans to finish the landscaping the gardens of their new home.  It never happened.

God had other plans for Kenny.  
I'm not sure that I will ever get over losing Kenny.  Life feels really sad right now and it's like a big chunk of my heart has been ripped from me.  My entire family is hurting so bad and every day is a challenge to stay strong and positive.  It's so hard returning to everyday life without Kenny with us.  I will always honor his life and his legacy.  He will forever be in my heart.

So, I'll leave you all with this.  Make that phone call, make that visit, hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you.  Don't put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow might not come.  Kenny only had eighteen days.  He waited for each one of his brothers and sisters to arrive.  He asked if we were all there.  When he heard our voices he seemed at peace.  But how do you tell someone how much you love them within a short amount of time...somehow you just do.  We each one kissed him and quietly whispered to him that he could go.  You'll never know how hard it is to tell someone you love that they are free to go.  The selfish side of us wants them to never leave, but you know they must.

I love you Kenny.  Thank you for the love you have given to us.  You will be forever in our hearts.

                                           ~~Sissie~~